More tranny stories later!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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