Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
