i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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