Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
