i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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