Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
