I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
