I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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