Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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