I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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