Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
