I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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