his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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