dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
