look no pants
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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