the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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