I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
