she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
