Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize