does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
