$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize