school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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