so let's talk penis.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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