so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
