I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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