just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
