never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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