just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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