Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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