is your mom at the bar?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
then he tried to convert me to islam
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
