I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
