I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
