I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
