Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
