so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
