Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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