You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
