Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
