Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
