She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
