I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
