Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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