We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
