youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
