And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
