Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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