so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
