i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize