When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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