Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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