It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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