Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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