I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you win again, gameday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
