I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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