Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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