Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
