Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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