I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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