we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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