Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
