C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
