Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
