remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
