sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
