I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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