After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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