Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize