Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
