I don't remember. Are we still dating?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize