Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
