i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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