u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
